annoying

I'm feeling more like myself than I have in a few weeks, which is awesome.  Over the course of the last two weeks my mind broke.  I hit bottom.  Now that I'm getting back up it feels awesome, I just wish I could take someone with me.  Instead of coming along she is pulling away and falling deeper into her own hole.  I've been telling myself this more and more lately; but it might finally be time to let go.   I really wish I wanted to.  

on a different yet related note; I'm pretty sure that girls who aren't doing some kind of birth control think I'm better looking than the ones who are.  

lessons learned about the internet

So I shared a bit too much and I was reminded that people actually look at the stuff I put on the internet.  Won't be sharing or talking about personal stuff that much anymore.  back to being a blog about nothing except stuff

missing you

I miss my longer hair, the novelty of short hair has worn off. totally.

yo

I'm a bit too open with things, time to get more private

the best kind of shitty

The part in Return of the King when Gandalf starts kicking ass on the wall at Minas Tirith is fucking cool.

I just realized that to orcs aragorn must seem like hitler.  he wanted to rid the world of their kind. and I imagine that after return of the king he went around and did his best to do it.

I hope your loss doesn't cause me to lose you.

once upon a time someone I loved very much decided she had had enough of me.  it was horrible.  I felt alone and like I had done something wrong.  it sucked really really bad.  after awhile I was able to see that it was for the best.  one thing I never did was let go of my friends, their support kept me afloat; MH please do the same. At a time when the black sea of loss, despair and guilt are crashing onto you it is your friends and those who love you that will keep your head above that sea and it will keep your eyes clear.  Bad things happen when you jump around in the dark with blinded eyes.

Chauncey wants to make Madison happy

do it

wish came true.  at least half of it did. now I just have to make sure that in the process the good half of that wish isn't washed away by tears.

fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.

In her words "you don't get to pick who you love"
in the words of a friend "you can't save someone who doesn't want to be saved"
in my words, "if I can't hold you I will do my best to hold you up"
  Ms. Madison Hightower, I'm the one for you and you are the one for me, it was meant to be, you know it as much as I do. That go-tard has finally set you free. hopefully your tears don't wash you away from me. -Chauncey DeLaroux

it will suck right now, but it will be good in time