thinking

The more time I spend thinking about something the less time I spend actually doing it.  Maybe I should stop thinking about _ _ _ _ _ _  so much.

Broadcasting on vimeo

Click here to get to THE BLUEFUTURE vimeo channel.

There are two clips that I did the lighting design/co-direction on up there now.  I'll be putting up clips from the things I do and the stuff I've done for other people.   The clips up there now are promotional clips for the Soap Factory Haunted Basement I worked on with the people from Mpls.tv

thinking while procrastinating

some things are best if you don't look too closely.

more girls look better without makeup than think they do.

there are also somethings that you should do (people included) like each time will be the last time.  if you don't but it is you'll be seriously caught up in wanting that last time and it will drive you nuts.

history repeats itself.

more often than not, being a good guy is the wrong move.

it's hard not to laugh when people complain to you that you complain too much.

pro bono?

so, in the interest of getting more press, bumping up my portfolio, helping someone out and kissing up to an MCAD professor I have suddenly found myself in a position and responsibility that I am generally paid hundreds of dollars to do.  When I took on the idea of setting up a light installation for a performance space I was thinking something simple yet cool; now that I am aware of what bands are playing and that they are not small local bands.  These are also bands slightly at odds with Solid Gold; or whatever you might call it I now find myself in a position that is very dilemma causing.  I want to kick ass and earn the portfolio/reference that drove me to take on the project; but I no longer want to offer services I am paid well to do for free, the people involved have also made me doubt my interest in participation.  The idea of doing this has turned from pro bono phone in radness that I can represent with, into my name being attached to something I would never knowingly be doing.  I need more time to think and figure this project out; but all I have is a few hours and a shitload of work.  I can't fuck this up, I need this shit to look good/cool but I can't do it real cool for free.  fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.  matt will have plenty to say about this situation and it will all agree with the side that is saying "fuck that dude, you get paid for this shit there is no way you should be doing this for free.   fuck.  money is awesome, but having it conflict with artistic dedication really sucks.

figuring it out

I'm starting to grasp the situation and it will take a little bit, but I see the friend thing and get it.  Since the RYT set the bar so high as far as how awesome an activity can be.  call it a high water mark.  I do need one last session knowing that it might be the last; I could take in every moment and savor every movement and not hold anything back for next time.   I really want to pull out all of the moves and ten hit combos I haven't used yet. Last night I was essentially begging (somewhere between pitiful and date rapist). Patience is something I can deal with and if it doesn't happen again the last time was pretty sweet, so I can't really complain.  I did say "we do it so well it would be a crime not to", and I really do mean it.

On a comforting note it's good to know, if not the whole truth, a good portion of it (I can also be a fool, so who knows).

I shouldn't have eaten that second piece of pizza for lunch.

Molly, Cassie and the Turtles at the Fair would have been much more fun than the studio party I'm about to go to; but it's best I don't go for so multiple reasons.  Mental health, temptation, chilling the fuck out, courtesy, and I fucking hate the fair and I'm not the biggest fan of hippy type music; so I probably wouldn't have had as much fun as everybody else.  That's why I'm reading the Invisibles again