it's all in the wording

wording can change the tone of a story dramatically.
    I woke up this morning fully dressed after staying up until who knows how long, with a pocket full of ripped up dollar bills, there was a tv show about people preparing for the strongman competition and fitness competitions still on and the volume, I'm still drunk from last night and i'm still fucked up by whatever it was that I took last night, I threw up, exchanged poorly thought out text messages, stumbled to the corner store to get some gatorade and something to eat that I could actually stomach and marveled at the fact that I am still under the influence of something.  oh, and I have the biggest headache I've had in a long long time.  i'm getting hit by a hammer each time a bird opens it's beak and the sun is blinding. I'm sore on every level.  this is the roughest morning I've had in a long time. I'm wrecked

 try this now:
I went to bed super late after going to a friends place after the bar. I got hang out with people I don't see that often which led too many drinks and stuff so once I got home I fell asleep watching a movie.  I hadn't even taken my shoes off.  I woke up with a headache and a hangover, talked to a different friend, then went to the store to get something to drink and a snack before I went on with the day.  it's a beautiful morning, the birds are chirping; it's too bad I have such a bad hangover.

I don't think I can word the violent vomiting, the burn in my right sinus from inhaling an unknown powder, the still being intoxicated and the not having any idea where I parked my car parts well.  I can just simplify it.

I'm a fucking retard

that's probably why I'm writing this and watching the second matrix movie when I should be running or sleeping.