loose change

Has anyone ever seen THX1138?   I feel a bit like I'm in the room with all white non-walls; I keep trying to look and go different directions in an effort to escape, but it hasn't worked yet.  I keep trying to move forward, a few times I even thought I saw a way out; but things just don't change and there isn't an exit in sight.   This shit is really getting to me; bringing me down, shaking me up.   It's so fucking hot and humid right now; I'm not made for this shit and it's not helping at all.

I'm done with all this summer business; I want the fans to be off, I want to wear a jacket, I want to wear pants comfortably, I want to use a blanket, I don't want to sweat while sitting; a source of smiles did find me and I haven't smiled that broadly in a long time; but now it feels like I need to schedule appointments (that's being hard on her and isn't entirely true).  I'm just a bummed out dude getting dragged down by the things that should be making me happy.  

carry

Got a bit carried away as far as pounding out posts goes.  that last one was pretty intense.   now I'm awake after not as much sleep as I would have liked to get to be ready for today.   I have a lot of work to do and I was already planning to skip out on some of it.  whatever, shit is stupid and I'm already a few days behind (shocking, I'm usually so on top of things).   Polish Pugilist lighting design, I'm going to be so mad if I have to do the tech work for the performances; fucking bullshit.

vows

   My brother is Matt, and while there are times we've wanted to kill each other, he is fucking awesome and I'd die for him.  I've got a friend named Matthew and he is a rad mother fucker I'd probably take a bullet for too.  Now there is a new Matt on my mind.
   This colon dweller is worse than the ground underneath a piece of yellow dog shit.  I will break my vow to not hit anybody in order to hurt this asshole.  I'd like to break his fucking legs and arms; some brass knuckles for his face would be nice.  I really don't care if by the end of things I've gotten my ass kicked as long as I hurt him in the process.  I can't say why this dixie cup full of stale bile deserves this, but if it were up to me I would say why.  If I did there would be an army behind me as I broke him.  This guy is a true piece of shit, as I was being told about this guy I felt rage boiling inside me.
   After I shattered my knuckle fighting with my brother I vowed to myself that I was done with hitting things and that if I were to hit someone they would absolutely deserve it.  Now I vow that he will be the next person I punch in the face (unless some asshole really earns the honor, but it will be pretty hard for that to happen).
   There are some people you never hit and he did that and more to one who is now close to me.  It happened before I met her, but with the way I feel about that person it is as if he did it yesterday.  If you can't tell this is something that has me very upset. I won't forget what he did and if it is tomorrow or a year or more I vow I WILL hit this guy (even if it turns out like the fight at the end of Dazed and Confused).

what?

While on a long walk intended to take my mind off the situation I realized a flaw in a bit of logic that was explained to me recently.  Makes me think about previous experiences involving a similar story.  I really don't know what's up, doubt and skepticism suck.

The walk was nice though
 

song of today

I'm kind of done with this summer, so I wish I had heard this a few months ago; but she's hot and the song is cool so who cares

song of today

A bit different, but pretty cool

song of today

the best cover I've heard in a little bit