wow

It's amazing how much a good distraction will help you get through a fucked up time in your life.  It's also amazing how once that distraction is gone all the thoughts and feelings that had been held a a slow trickle will turn into a flood.  
Whole bunch of shit came back and poured itself all over me now that the distraction is officially gone.  I thought I had dealt with this shit and gotten over it.  This sucks.  Really sucks.  Really really sucks.   I can't describe it and I wish I didn't have to.  I can't get a break.

I told myself I would never do it, then I told someone that when I said it to them it would be the only time I ever used the term; but here I go again.  FML